having a moment

When I was old enough to comprehend what a career meant, I wanted to become a writer. Growing up, I devoured books over the summer when I had time to read as much as I could.  I wanted to be a master storyteller and paint amazing worlds and craft awe inspiring scenes that would make my readers laugh, tremble and gasp in excitement.  Only later on did I realize that being a writer (of fiction) took up much more creativity than my brain may actually manage. Sad, but one does have to face reality sometimes. (insert carefree shrug)

Then, I realized why let it stop me, for there must be infinite topics to write about. And it hit me: why should I look for material when I’m already immersed in a wealth of material,both comical and dramatic? It would certainly pique any reader and for sure will leave them with a warm fuzzy feeling after. It hit me: my family, which my friends know I refer to as Addams, is the perfect subject of this project!

There are privacy issues of course, and unless I cloak my name under an alias would I only be able to freely narrate this reality-based story.  It dawned on my that my situation is quite unique and compelling, (as one will later find out in my story) and there are lessons in it worth telling and sharing to others.  So while that children’s story book is still shelved in the inactive part of my brain, I will strive to work on this story.  As I think about it now, there are some memories here and there that defy fiction and make the truth sound stranger than – well, fiction!

Wish me luck!

Disenchanted

Events in the recent week can be summarized in this word. Today’s reading reminded me about how, in the eyes of faith, it is necessary to experience a let down because it leads us to ask an all-important life question – WHY?

As rational creatures, we tend to question disappointments and heartaches when they affect us deeply.  I now see that this is an important ingredient in the process of deepening my faith. It is easy to overlook or take for granted the significance of certain elements if  they had conveniently become a part of my life.

Yes I am guilty of being impatient, of feeling indignant when things don’t go as I expect, of feeling panicked when thrust out of my comfort zone, but I am grateful too for these shocking moments that lead me to question, to probe, and to believe.

Ow, ow, ow (my feet hurt)!

“Flexibility is the capacity to bend without breaking, as well as a continual willingness to change or be changed in order to accommodate new circumstances. People with flexible minds are open to shifting their course when necessary or useful; they are not overly attached to things going the way they had planned.” therefore the term ‘walking distance’ is relative.

The question is: how long until my feet get used to this marathonlike pace of walking every single day, expanding my endurance in hot and humid weather.

They say physical conditioning starts with the mind, and that is the kind of flexibility that I really need to work on. Seriously. I think that I need to load up on comfortable footwear and work on fitness training. It boggles my mind that the locals here walk so fast and without breaking in sweat or running out of breath.  Then again, it simply means I’m out of shape.  I think the past several days are the most I’ve walked in six months combined from my previous job, haha!

I think I need to: just do it!

From my daily dose of OM

Walking Through
When Doors Open

When a door opens, walk through it. Trust that the door has opened for a reason and you have been guided to it. Sometimes we have a tendency to overanalyze or agonize over the decision, but it is quicker to simply go through the door and discover what’s there as that’s the only way to know. Even if it doesn’t seem right at first, opening this door may lead to another door that will take us where we need to go.

….

There are many doors that open in the course of our lives, leading us into new relationships, jobs, friendships, and creative inspirations. Our lives up to this point are the result of all the doors we have walked through, and our continued growth depends on our willingness to keep moving into new spaces. Every time we walk through an open door, we create a sense memory that encourages us to move into the new fearlessly. When we enter the new space, we almost always feel a thrill and a new feeling of confidence, in ourselves and in the universe. We have stepped across the threshold into a new life.

a grateful heart

I never thought I would get to my mid-thirties, but here I am, inching towards the big four-OH. And yes, I am one of those that never really cared much about age, but somehow getting older does hit you with certain realities, like having a “plan of life“. 

What is it about getting one year older that makes you pause and reflect? It was fortunate on my part that I spent the occassion away from the craziness of my ordinary life where people want something from me. Wait, that din’t come out quite right. What I mean is: where I can hit the pause button on my responsibilities and prioritize my own enjoyment for once.

And was it a great experience.  Eating, sightseeing, resting in an upgraded room (thanks to my boithday!) was more than I could ever hope to celebrate ‘my year’.  Spending quality time with my wonderful hubby was the perfect complement to my heavenly vacation.  Alas, six glorious days were too short and here I am, back to reality with a few more holidays to spare – extending this quiet time with myself and allowing me to ponder on MY YEAR!

Protected: lenten sacrifice

This content is password-protected. To view it, please enter the password below.

Password:

damn tired

There is something liberating about being in a state of utter exhaustion.  It’s like being intoxicated with alcohol.  You don’t care what people think, you take charge, you just DO.  You end up doing things the untired version of yourself wouldnt normally do.

Now I’ve come to understand why the characters in Grey’s Anatomy behave the way they do.

It just makes me wonder about these thoughts and feelings that surfaced yesterday. Perhaps they are not a figment after all. Perhaps I was just too busy, too chicken, too cerebral to notice them and being tired allows them all to come out freely.

falling into place

Lately the universe is orchestrating happy coincidences my way.  By some stroke of fate, I’ve come to meet inspiring, and truly excellent educators who are at personal crossroads and I think that hearing about their discernment is helping me distill my own experiences.  

One striking realization from a directress I met today, was her rock solid faith and how it naturally governs her professional life and principles. Having a clear and unwavering view of God really does make professional life simpler.  Easier is never practical nor realistic, because work is work, but then, it is deeply meaningful when viewed in the context of a greater, and compelling truth.

it’s true

I’VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED TO THOSE
WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN

as told by Glinda